Last night I dreamed that I was in the military, and I was in Indonesia for some reason. I woke up stuck in a tree with some guy from my unit, and I had something tattooed on my chin. It looked like an advertisement. Luckily it was yellow and white, so not way too noticeable. We were too high in the trees to climb down safely by ourselves. Eventually a forest ranger type man who looked like Joel Grey helped us down. I demanded that we be taken to the airport to get the hell out of there. I was over it.
While I'm on a free-advertising-for-my-favey-brands kick, may I please to recommend to you the Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum?
I got some red onesie pajamas that have a butt flap in the back for easy access. I was probably drunk when I ordered them. There was one of 'em googley ads at the top of my gmail the one night telling me I needed some. Ok, I said.
I'm going to see La Boheme next week, and apparently I'm way too excited about that, because last night I dreamed they canceled La Boheme and put on another show instead, and I was PISSED. AND they didn't tell anyone, they just had some other crap going on instead, and I had to ask around to figure out that it wasn't some pre-show jizz, but the actual replacement performance. That better not happen in real life. It better NOT. Plus the show they did wasn't even classical type, it was a new Broadway musical, and it totally sucked. It was one of those things where the actors bust through the Third Wall and walk out into the audience to include us in their songs. Ugh every time that happens I try to do my best invisible girl impersonation. It didn't work in my dream. I was resting my head on my arms on the seat in front of me (which was empty because half the audience left) (and the other half was walking around and talking) and one of the performers, some guy who needed to shave and was wearing a blue hoodie, walked right up to me and asked me to stand up, and he gave me a hug. I could feel his armpit sweat on my sleeveless arms, for I was wearing a formal dress for this mess. I was polite about it though entirely displeased. Afterwards I swore on your mom's grave I'd be emailing in for a refund.
Here is a picture of some tribesmen aiming arrows at a plane. Is this even for real? And if so, isn't it a bit irresponsible to fly airplanes where these people can see them? What if they sacrifice someone to the rumbling metal birds? You know how primitives are. Whatever happened to the Prime Directive? So many questions. Such as: How would we feel if we found out that aliens were real and they had this huge crazy world with cures for everything and everyone lived in the lap of luxury but they hid it from us because they thought we were nothing but dumb and vaguely interesting? And what if those UFOs were the aliens taking pictures of us to put on alien versions of CNN for alien versions of me to laugh at? I'd be pissed. Someone send these dudes some iPods stat. Actually, $10 says these red people have Wii Fit on pause in their huts while they pretend to be frightened and confused by our boopy clicky growlies in the sky so the likes of us will leave them alone. Man, I want to join a tribe.